What better way to kick off this blog than to tell you how I ended up moving from London to Madrid, Spain!
I am a saved Christian that always sought to fulfil God's will. But about a year ago, I reached a point in my life at home -- a twenty-five-year-old living in North London with her parents -- where I felt like I didn't have enough.
I had moved back in with my parents after my Masters degree in 2017, and spent a year at home, completely content, having found a new church, setting time to write and finish my first full novel, and all whilst bonding with my family and long-life friends.
When 2018 came, however, things lost their charm. It was hard to find contentment in my day to day life and I prayed to God, asking Him why am I in this state. Later, He then revealed to me that I had been in a waiting period. He showed me an image of me in a waiting room, sitting on one single chair, curtains drawn, doors shut. I had no idea what I was waiting for, but I knew that I was.
This went on for a long time and it gave me confidence that God had a greater plan ahead, so I henceforth found hope in it. And slowly, after a few more months, He began to tell me that doors were opening in that room, that I was beginning to peek through the curtain to the light on the other side. There was talk of a future husband in the mix as well. So of course, I got excited and overjoyed because it meant the waiting period was finally over.
Only, 2018 came and nothing happened. January, February, March arrived as usual, but still... nothing. I had a really tough time in this period as I didn't know what to believe and my faith was wavering. I had moments of hope but I couldn't help but wonder if this was all there was for me.
As always, in order to pass the time and allow my life to be enriched with a little more, I travelled. April came and I wanted to go somewhere and do something different. I wanted to connect with people, and not just a town or a city. So I searched programmes or volunteer jobs abroad that would allow me a new experience. And that was when I found Diverbo.
Diverbo is a company that provides Pueblos Ingles programmes to any Anglo willing to volunteer and help Spaniards in a fully-immersed week of speaking English. I was shocked at how this one potential experience had all the connection and culture immersion I was looking for: including accommodation, food and memories of a lifetime, and all for free! Immediately, I ran to my knees and spoke to the Lord about going. He was silent. I felt like He wanted me to decide on my own. I didn't feel total assurance, but I didn't feel something stopping me either: there was just a peace telling me, 'you choose'. Making this decision on my own felt intimidating but He assured me that He would be with me in either decision. I then applied the next day and prayed that if it be God's will, that I be accepted for a programme that was only about two weeks away.
The response came two days later and they said yes.
My first ever week in Spain was exceptional. I truly got what I wanted and learnt so much about the Spanish culture. It was my very first time in Spain as well. In my life, I have been to Italy at least four times, to Paris thrice, Turkey, Portugal, made it even all the way to Australia for a month, but Spain was somehow never on my radar. And yet I loved it. More than any of the other places.
Once the week was over, I returned to Madrid for my flight back to London the next day and I had an experience that still blows my mind today. I arrived to the hotel room after my long, sobbing goodbyes to everyone at the programme, shut the door behind me and the first thing I heard was silence. The deadening, completely still, heart-wrenching silence was so loud, that I turned on the TV, put on loud music, called my mother, did everything in my power to make some noise. But it didn't work. I had never felt so alone in my entire life.
Returning home was difficult and the transition back to my every day routine was really hard to take. So in the end, I decided to go back.
Let's say the second programme was just as phenomenal, this time knowing what to expect. But when I returned home again, it was a whole story. I was able to see what I truly wanted, but I didn't see it when I had it, when I was in Spain and socialising and exploring Madrid: it was when I returned to London. To my normal.
Three weeks passed after that and everything was so dull and grey in London (and I don't just mean the weather), my life felt finished somehow. Like all I had had reached its peak. I was miserable.
One morning, I woke up determined. I got down on my knees and I had a proper conversation with God. His Holy Spirit hit me like a fire and He told me one word:
"Go."
He repeated it to me over and over again, to my desire to leave, my longing for something more, and to that girl in that lonely, dark waiting room. Go. He then revealed to me how He hand-picked the people that came to the first programme in order that I may receive the support I will need when I move over. He chose them and to this day, those people are in my life, and have helped me with my transition here in Madrid immensely. I truly couldn't have done it without them.
In that moment, I made the concluding decision to move. I told my loved ones a few months later, and then finally moved country on August 7th, 2019.
In preparation for my move, my whole church, friends, family; everyone prayed for me over and over again and when I left, I left with this assurance and promise from God:
"I knew you were going to go from the beginning, so I sent you people early on so that they will be there in the future, to take care of you and make the move much more comforting. I want you in Spain. That's where your destiny is for right now, and something big is waiting for you there. So go, I'm already waiting for you on the other side."
So join me in this blog as I discover more and more of God in my every day walk with Him, my exploration of this new world I've entered into, and in my pursuit to find what God has prepared for me here, in Spain.
I also made a video on my YouTube channel about my story. You can watch it here!